This bothered me

I was driving to church today, and I passed another denomination's assembly. In front of the church, parked on the sidewalk, was a very new, shiny, mercedes s550. The car's vanity place was [redacted], which indicates that it was likely owned by one of the church's hierarchy. Now, I am not of the opinion that christians must avoid any show of wealth. I don't mind that a minister owns a nice car, or even that he owns a very nice car. I think that if a person is paid a salary by their church, that money belongs to them, and they are free to do with it as they see fit. Yet, there was something about this display that bothered me.

I took a few minutes when we got to church, to reflect on what got under my skin here. To review, the elements of the scene, we have a new, expensive car. A vanity plate denoting the car as owned by a church leader. The car parked in front of the church, on the sidewalk.

James has something to say about this situation. James says, "But if you show favoritism, you sin, and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers" James 2:9. This excerpt is taken from a passage where James is talking about showing favoritism to the rich. Jesus has a model for church leadership which flies in the face of honoring church leaders in the way we honor worldly leaders. Jesus says, "Sitting down, Jesus called the twelve, and said, 'If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.'" Mark 9:35. Jesus himself showed this servant leader model when he washed the disciples feet after the last supper.

The problem with the mercedes was that it was parked on the sidewalk. I presume that the churchgoers had directed it to be parked there as a sign of respect for its driver. I presume that they did so, intending to spare him from finding a parking space, from having people park near, and possibly scratch his car. I presume that the car's owner accepted this honor, thinking that he was worthy of it. I wonder whether he did so, intending to make a fast getaway if things went badly in the church. But I'm bothered by the idea that a church leader should have a special privilege not accorded to the other church members. I'm bothered, thinking that perhaps there are handicapped members of this congregation, that there are people who could benefit from being able to use this section of sidewalk. I'm also bothered because, while I think that this person can use his money however he sees fit, it seems unseemly to ask people for donations while you drive such an ostentatious car. In addition, my wife Lyzz pointed out that this doesn't represent a commitment to storing up one's treasures in heaven. Anyway, it bothered me.

Sacrifice for the new Messiah

As I said in my last post, I'm following a chronological Bible reading plan. Right now, I'm going through the birth of Jesus. Today's bit that stuck out to me was the response of the Shepherds when they heard the good news.

"When the angels had left them, and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to bethlehem, and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.'" Luke 2:15

Now, the shepherds were out in the fields, tending their flocks. That they decided to go into Bethlehem meant one of two sacrifices were going to be made. Either one of them was going to have to stay behind, tending to a now gigantic flock until his friends returned, or they were going to leave their flocks untended until their return.

Either case presents a sacrifice made on behalf of the Messiah. In the first case, if one of the shepherds stays behind, he can be fairly sure that he'll miss seeing God's Messiah. The Messiah he had been waiting for all his life. The Messiah prophesied in his religion for the last thousand years. The promised one of God, the one his grandfather's grandfather had been hoping to see. The Messiah was promised to Abraham. The Messiah was promised to David. The Messiah was delivered to the Shepherds, and if this poor fellow stays behind, he does so knowing that he'll miss it. This shepherd stays behind to ensure that the flocks are safe, that he and his friends have a livelihood to return to, to ensure that they can all eat tomorrow. Personally, I think that no one stayed behind with the sheep. Certainly it's possible that one of them wasn't as impressed with the chorus of heavenly Angels, certainly it's possible that one of them loved his stomach, or his friends more than he wanted to see God's Provision. But I doubt it. I think that they all went.

If all the shepherds went to see Jesus, then they left their sheep untended. Sheep need tending. A lot of tending. Sheep have no defenses against predators. Sheep have little homing or herd instinct. The very reason for the shepherds being in the fields with their flocks was that the sheep couldn't be trusted to take care of themselves. The shepherds left their flocks knowing that the flocks might not be there upon their return. They left their flocks untended, at the mercy of predators, unguided in unfamiliar fields, at night. They made this sacrifice, because they wanted to see Jesus. They made this sacrifice because they wanted to see the promise fulfilled. They made this sacrifice, not knowing that in 33 years, Jesus would make a bigger sacrifice for them in return.

As I'm trying to live out my walk with God, as I'm trying to live, knowing that God paid a high price for me, I'm trying in large part to be the shepherd who leaves his flock, because God told me that something cool is happening in Bethlehem. I'm not always succeeding in loving God more than I love my security, more than I love my own stomach, but I'm trying.

Watering the trucks

"Now, we had to wash these big army trucks pretty often. The army likes to have things clean. So, you know, having to wash these trucks all the time got pretty boring. So what we'd do, is we'd fill up the tailpipe with water. Then, when we were ready to go, we'd get some poor sucker to go go back there. We'd tell him to check out the rear tires, or make sure that we picked up that one hose. We'd start up the truck, and all the water would rush back out of the tailpipe at once, and hit the guy. It was great fun. Now, there was this one day, it was real cold, and we'd washed the truck, and we're ready to go. So we tried to get somebody to go back there and check the tailpipe, but nobody would go, so we hopped in the truck to leave. Only, just as we're ready to start the truck up, this sergeant pulls into the stall next to ours. We can't tell him that we've been screwing around with the trucks, but he's right in the way of the water. So, we did the only thing we could. We all jumped into the cab, started the engine up, and drove off like nothing had happened. That poor guy got hit with the water right in the back, and I mean it was a cold day."

Two Reactions

I'm following a chronological reading plan for my daily bible reading right now. A few days ago, I read Luke 1, which has Mary and Zechariah both finding out that they're going to be parents. Now, you may be thinking, I thought it was Mary and Joseph, and you'd be right, but Zechariah is the father of John the Baptist, and in Luke 1, he finds out that his wife is going to have a baby boy. For Zechariah, this was pretty unbelievable news. Luke tells us that Zechariah wife Elizabeth was barren, and too old to have children besides. Luke goes on to say that Zechariah is a pretty old guy himself, and that, relying solely on nature, no baby is going to show up. Mary, on the other hand, is of child-bearing age, but also a virgin, which means that she's not going to get pregnant naturally either.

An angel appears to both of them, telling them almost the same news, that they're each going to have a baby boy. The thing that struck me was the difference between their reactions.

"Zechariah asked the Angel, 'How can I be sure of this? I am an old man, and my wife is well along in years.'" Luke 1:18

"'How will this be,' Mary asked the Angel, 'Since I am a virgin?'" Luke 1:34

The difference between these responses was what struck me. Boiled down, their responses are, "How can I be sure I can trust you?" and "How will it work?" While Zechariah's response comes with some element of doubt, Mary's response implies that she believes it'll happen, and is confused about the mechanics.

Personally, I find that I want to be like Mary, I want to just start off by trusting God, and by knowing that God has it all in hand. I want my questions to God to be around, what should I be doing? How will it work? but I find that my questions are more toward the, "How can I be sure I can trust you?" God deserves better from me.

Backfiring the trucks

"Now, I was assigned to Army intelligence, in the signal corp. And before we shipped out, we had to learn how to drive in a convoy. We were sent down south, to Alabama, to do maneuvers. Why, I don't know, because we didn't do much actual driving in lines once we got to Germany, but maybe it's an army thing. Anyway, we were down there, in this big line of trucks, driving all over the south. When we'd get to a base, we'd have to set up a new signal outpost, for communications. On the way somewhere, it could get pretty boring. So, what we'd do was we'd backfire the trucks."

"What does that mean, backfire?" I ask.

"Well, when you're driving along the road, you turn off the truck engine, it builds up a charge, and when you turn the key back on, it makes a loud bang. So, we'd be going down the road, and up and down the column, whenever somebody got bored, they'd make their truck backfire. It made an awful racket. One day, we were going through this little town, and it's a big deal to see this many army trucks go bye, so a bunch of people were out on main street watching us. This little kid was there, he had his cap gun out, and he's shooting his cap gun at the trucks. So, the guy driving my truck, he turns off the key, builds up that charge you know, and backfire's the truck. The little kid fell down, he thought that he'd been shot, it was so loud."

What I did last summer...

I was listening to Prairie Home Companion a few weeks ago, and the advertisement for the Ketchup Advisory Board came on. Now, I'll let you look up that segment check wikipedia to find out all about it. In this installment, Barb comments that she is concerned that Heaven will be like the school reports where you had to tell the class what you did over the summer. She says something to the effect of, "all the other kids got to do fun, exciting things, and all I did was watch ants in my parent's front lawn." (the show can be listened to here: http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2009/07/18/)

What if Heaven will be like that? What if we get to Heaven, and God says to us, so, what did you do with your life? In God's eyes, my lifetime isn't nearly so long as a summer, and it's a reasonable question. God certainly will demand some sort of accounting for my years here. (Hebrews 9:27)

I started thinking about that, and talking a bit to my wife about it. Here's what I decided. I want to be able to say, well, I cared about people. I worked hard to follow God as best I could. I was there when it mattered. When the important stuff came up, I was ready, and I did what needed to be done.

I'm not going to want to say, "I had great health insurance, I had a killer 401K, I had a sportscar..." None of those things are going to sound right, and God is not impressed by any of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that it's wrong to have heath insurance, I myself have health insurance, and recommend it to anyone else who can get it, but that's not what life is about. Nor is life about having a cool house, though I really want one of those.

Here's the thing, life is about God and people. In fact, those are the only permanent things. God is permanent, He is, was, and always shall be. People, being made in God's image, are also permanent. Humans were made to be eternal creatures. Jesus promises us that we will be given new, everlasting bodies, and can live forever in heaven with Him. I want my life to be about permanent things, I'm not opposed to having a cool house, but I want to be able to tell God about how I lived a life centered around Him, and around loving and caring for his children. The house can't come with me to heaven, the people can.

Best, Good, easy

This is what the Lord says, your redeemer, the Holy one of Israel: "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." Isaiah 48:17

I interviewed for a job last week, and found out this week that they hired someone else. I was pretty disappointed yesterday. See, God's destination and mine are sometimes quite divergent. I tend to be going to what's easy. Far from being interested in even what's good for me, I want easy. I want to find the most efficient way to do things, and to live my life in the path of least resistance. At least, that's my first instinct.

My first instinct frequently gives way to my trying to do what's good. Good and easy are seldom the same, but I want to be a good man. I know that being a good man changes nothing about my relationship with God, it doesn't earn me God's love, it doesn't buy me God's favor. It doesn't in any way make me worthy of the grace God so freely pours out on my life. But, since I'm going to be some kind of man, I'd prefer to be a good one. I don't think that goodness is a state of mind, I think that it's the result of a lifetime of choices. Choices not to do the easy thing, but instead to follow the more noble course, to do, or be good. Now, in this case, I found myself yesterday saying to God, "Lord, I know that your plan must not have included this job, but c'mon, I want a job, a job is a good thing, and there was this job which looked like it might be fun."

God isn't after what's good. God is after what's best. God has entirely skipped over better. For definition purposes:

good= morally excellent, virtuous

better=the preferable between several options

best=the most desirable of all options

God's standard, the destination he's taking my life, isn't toward simply good. God doesn't describe himself as working toward my good, he says that he is teaching me what is "best" for me. What is most desirable among all possible options. Now, even in being disappointed yesterday, that's somewhere I want to go.

I'll keep posting about my job search here, understand that if I sound whiny, it's because I want what's easy, and sometimes, when I'm having a really good day, I manage to make it to wanting what's good. God is working on the best standard, and sometimes, because I'm sinful and broken, I find that hard to live with.