For the times when I feel faint

Sometimes, things fall apart. For me, that happens when I wander away from God. It's not easy to go through life solo, and I have no desire to do so. So, several years ago, I got some really good advice. I was having lunch with my friend/mentor Gary. Gary asked me what was happening with my walk with Jesus, and I told him that I felt I'd wandered away, and that I really thought I'd lost the love, the excitement in my relationship with God. It's hard to keep doing something when you don't feel excited about it, which is no excuse. Gary gave me some good advice, advice that has stuck with me since. He said that I should read through Psalms.

Psalm: a sacred song or hymn.

In the Bible, Psalms is the center book. If you take a bible, let it fall open, likely you'll end up looking at a Psalm. It's the longest book in the Bible, and the one with the largest number of authors. Most of the Psalms were written by David, who is remembered as Israel's greatest king. David is described as "A man after God's own heart." Which is what I want to be. David's psalms are the songs he writes to God, love songs, extolling the wonderful things God has done, and writing about his adoration for God. David wrote some of his psalms as acrostics of the Hebrew alphabet, others he wrote to be sung on his way to the Temple to worship. David's psalms talk about the low times in his life, and how God rescued him. That's what I need.

So, I'm reading through Psalms, and something tiny stuck out to me. When I go to "Biblegateway.com", where I read the Bible online, I type in "PSA35" or whatever number I'm on that day (35 was today). PSA is an acronym for "Public Service Announcement." In some ways, Psalms could be seen as Public Service Announcements, they're about God, and about the wondrous things he does for his people. Psalms, like PSA's are meant to be public, they were sung, and performed publicly, with the intention of reminding the nation of their love for God.

So, as I need to be reminded of my love for God, I'm going through the Psalms. What do you do when you're in need of a reminder?

Grandpa has passed

Grandpa died on October 21, 2010. His obituary ran in the New London Day paper. Below is the eulogy I delivered at the funeral.

When I was a child, my grandfather would come to our house to pick me up. He would stand outside his car, parked on Ledyard Street in New London, and whistle. I'd run out of the house, jump into the passenger seat, and we'd head off for ice cream. I still look toward the window when I hear someone whistle like that. My grandfather defined himself by two characteristics: Work and Care. Grandpa was deeply proud of his accomplishments at work, of designing a storage system which saved the company a great deal of money, and of designing a transport system for bromine canisters. After his retirement, grandpa continued to work. He built a garage, and equipped it with a workshop. Some of my fondest childhood memories take place in that workshop. He was quick to offer help to anyone in our family whose house needed repair, or whose lawn needed mowing. I recall many afternoons spent helping Grandpa mow Mary Butler's lawn, or hearing about how he was fixing someone's sink or toilet. In later years, Grandpa turned to driveway sealing, and deck painting, I think in part as a way to use his new pressure washer. We sealed decks and driveways together, often starting as the sun rose.
Grandpa took deep care in both his work, and in his relationships. After my mother died, grandpa was a fixture at our house. Not only handling regular maintenance, but also driving us to school, often taking us out to breakfast on the way. Among my favorite times were spending the night at his house. We would get up early in the morning, and bicycle to Michaels Dairy, where Grandpa would tell me about his first childhood job, delivering milk on one of the Michael's dairy trucks.
My grandfather understood the value of people, and the way people appreciate small things. As the residents of his street aged, Grandpa would show up during snow storms, with his trusty snow blower, and clear their driveways and steps. He said that it was important to take care of the people around you. That was nice, but he went above and beyond, by cutting paths across all the lawns so the mail carrier had a more efficient route, and wouldn’t have to walk through the snow. I met her while cleaning grandpa's house this summer, and she told me how she appreciated that small gesture, how, during those snowy winters, it made her job so much easier.
Nowhere was my grandfather's care more evident than his response to his wife's hospitalization and decline. Grandma was in hospitals as far away as Hartford, a long distance for a man who lived scant miles from his childhood home. My grandfather drove daily to sit with her in the hospital, encouraging her to work hard in rehab, and ensuring the staff provided top notch care.
Later in life, Grandpa spent much of his time in his workshop, sometimes cleaning, sometimes woodworking, one of his favorite things to make were swan shaped planters, which he never sold, but gave away to family and friends. The lions share of my grandfathers' tools, as well as the original swan patterns, now reside in my workshop, and as I use them, I think of him often, and I strive to live up to his example.

Ice Cream Saturdays

When I was a little kid, I used to sleep over at my grandfather's house, usually on a Friday night, but during the summer it might be any night. I'd stay up late with my grandparents, we'd watch Wheel of Fortune, and I'd sit on the floor playing with matchbox cars, or the tiny toy forklift Grandpa got me. I'd sleep in Grandpa's room, (it took me years to ask why my parents shared a room while my grandparents had their own). Sometimes Grandpa's snoring would keep me up. Once I mentioned that his snoring kept me awake, and he started sleeping on the couch.

Grandpa and I were both early risers, so we'd get up early and creep downstairs, he'd remind me to be quiet so as not to wake grandma. We'd eat bowls of Cheerios, then go out to the garage, where we'd get our bikes.

Our route took us up his street, and down the hill, up another hill and down the back side. We'd cross the hospital parking lot, to [redacted] ave. We'd go up a few blocks to [redacted-well known local ice-cream parlor]. When I was little, I'd get an ice-cream cone, later I moved up to milk shakes. Finally, Grandpa introduced me to ice cream sodas. I liked the taste, and I liked the idea of having it like a grown-up, so I always got coffee.

We'd drink our ice-cream sodas, then get back on our bikes to go home. ON our way back down grandpa's street he'd say to me, "Now don't tell grandma that I gave you ice-cream so early, or we'll be in trouble."

Once we put our bikes away, and I watched the electric garage door come slowly down, we'd go in through the kitchen, and find Grandma at the table. She'd be drinking her coffee and having a cigarette as she read the morning paper.

I'd walk up to her, give her a hug and a kiss, and say, "Grandpa gave me ice-cream."

It's totally not fair

In my last post, I talked about how we can know, using the power of logic, that Jesus is the only way to God. In this post, I'd like to talk a bit about the huge imbalance in our relationship with God. First, I should point out another logical premise that I'm working with.

God and I are not equals.

It took me a REALLY long time, and a great deal of soul searching to accept that one. It took years of being angry at God. Years of saying things like, "How dare you?" and "You have no right." But, honestly, it's true, God and I are not equals. Here are a few of the differences between us.


God is righteous, holy and pure. I am not.

 ¹⁷  ‘Can a mortal be more righteous than God?
      Can a man be more pure than his Maker? (Job 4:17, New King James Version)

 ⁵ Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
         Yes, our God is merciful. (Psalm 116:5, New King James Version)

 ¹⁰ As it is written: 

     “ There is none righteous, no, not one;
   ¹¹ There is none who understands;
      There is none who seeks after God.
       (Romans 3:10-11, New King James Version)

God Knows everything.

¹³ Nothing in all the world can be hidden from God. Everything is clear and lies open before him, and to him we must explain the way we have lived. (Hebrews 4:13, New Century Version)

God is all powerful. (Omnipotent means all powerful. Omni=All, Potent=Powerful)

 ⁶ And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! (Revelation 19:6, New King James Version)

Let's get something out of the way, I doubt anyone would argue this, but for the sake of clarity, I am not all-powerful. Though I am very smart, I do not know everything, and though I think of myself as a decent guy, I come nowhere near righteous or holy.

God and I are not equals, and on every measure imaginable, God is far above/more/better than me. So, in relating to one another, I have a serious problem. The God of the universe doesn't have to listen to me. God doesn't have to do what I want, and doesn't have to care what's best for me. But God does listen, and God does care. Here's how we can know.


1. God sent his Son Jesus, who died for me. (For more on this, please see my previous post, or go to the source, and read the Bible).

It's pretty incredible that the God of the Universe cared enough to send Jesus, it's very hard to believe that He did so because He doesn't care. If Jesus really came and died for us, that is undeniable proof that God cares.

2. God's provision didn't end at Jesus.

As if Jesus wasn't enough, God has allowed us to come to him directly in prayer. Though, that brings up a bit of a problem. Not being all knowing, I don't always know what to pray. Not being all powerful, I don't have the ability to make my own prayers come true. God, however, has foreseen and solved this problem. Before we go on though, think about how incredible that is for a moment. Before Jesus, we humans were essentially in an un-winnable war against God. Sin is, at its heart, a rebellion against God, and we humans are amazingly determined rebels. God set up the system of sacrifice, so there could be some peace between God and Man, but it wasn't enough, since we kept breaking the truce. God sent his Son, and set up a truce that couldn't be broken. Then he said that even though I am such a rebel, I'm allowed to come to Him and ask for things. And He'll answer. Because He loves me. (I'll be writing more on this later, of that you can be sure).

God has set up two helps for me. As mentioned above, I don't always know what to pray, and I'm sure that I frequently pray for the wrong thing entirely. With a limited view, and a selfish nature, I'm not always interested in what's good for me, and rarely interested in what's best for me. I do however have a firm handle on what might be fun for me. Bad for me, but fun. With that in mind, my prayers, the specific things I ask for, might be somewhat suspect. So God, knowing that I would have this problem, has provided me with some help. First, the bible says that we have Jesus, who intercedes for us with God. Jesus speaks to God on our behalf.

 ¹⁹ People may be corrected while in bed in great pain;
       they may have continual pain in their very bones.
 ²⁰ They may be in such pain that they even hate food,
       even the very best meal.
 ²¹ Their body becomes so thin there is almost nothing left of it,
       and their bones that were hidden now stick out.
 ²² They are near death,
       and their life is almost over.
 ²³ "But there may be an angel to speak for him,
       one out of a thousand, who will tell him what to do.
 ²⁴ The angel will beg for mercy and say:
       'Save him from death.
       I have found a way to pay for his life.'
 ²⁵ Then his body is made new like a child's.
       It will return to the way it was when he was young.
 ²⁶ That person will pray to God, and God will listen to him.
       He will see God's face and will shout with happiness.
       And God will set things right for him again.
 ²⁷ Then he will say to others,
       'I sinned and twisted what was right,
       but I did not receive the punishment I should have received. (Job 33:19-27, New Century Version)

  ⁵ For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, (1 Timothy 2:5, New King James Version)

 ⁵ For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, (1 Timothy 2:5, New King James Version)

Not only do I have God's son speaking to God on my behalf, but Jesus also provided the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. The Holy Spirit prays for me.

 ²⁶ Also, the Spirit helps us with our weakness. We do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us, even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain. (Romans 8:26, New Century Version)

To recap, God the Father loves me so much that he sent His Son to die in my place. That same Son, resurrected from the dead, now stands as a mediator between me and God. God himself, in the person of the Holy Spirit acts as an advocate for me. This system isn't fair, it's skewed wildly in my favor.

This brings us to a bit of a puzzle. If God loves me so much, if Jesus stands between me and God, mediating between us, and if the Holy Spirit advocates before God on my behalf, why do I need this system at all? It's all in my favor, what's the point of such a system, when everything is for my benefit. Since it's all in my favor, why do I need a mediator and an advocate? Who is against me here? Looking around, I think we can see that there's only one party not working on my behalf.

Me.

I have a God who loves me and works to my benefit, a mediator who gave his life to save mine, and an advocate who knows what to ask for when I can't even figure out what's going on. I need all this help because I'm incredibly self-destructive. The only one in the room not working for my benefit is me.

 ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23, New King James Version)

The wages of sin is death, the gift of God is life. I'm busily working on death, while God is desperately trying to offer me life.

I'm not alone in this, it's the same for you too. God wants very badly to give you life. God has gone to great lengths, and to incredible trouble to offer you life, all you have to do is accept it. God has set up a system deeply weighted in your favor, because everything we do is working against our own interests.

God and I are totally not equals, and this system is totally not fair.

All roads lead to Rome. Only Jesus leads to God.

Recently, in my Bible study, we came upon the following verse.

 ⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6, New King James Version)

If you've never come across it before, this is a verse that bothers a lot of people. The exclusivity of it "gets" folk. It's bothersome that Jesus says he is the only way to God. It's problematic especially if you're not a christian, because Jesus has not left any room for you to say, "Well, what works for you may not work for me."

Jesus doesn't leave any wiggle room here, and although that can be uncomfortable to think about, it does make logical sense. Christianity is unlike any other religion, in that rather than requiring some entrance fee from us, God has made atonement for our sins Himself. Let's look fore closely at Jesus claim here.

"No one comes to the Father except through me."

Now, to have this talk, I'm working off three distinct logical premises.
1. Jesus was a real man who lived.
2. Jesus actually said this.
3. Jesus was God's son, who willingly, and at God's behest, served as an atoning sacrifice for our sin on our behalf.
We can talk about proving those premises later (read: in different posts), but what comes next will be based on them.

God exchanged His son's life for mine. Now, I don't have kids, but I know several parents. I used to volunteer for a support group for grieving children. I've know several families who have had children die. It's painful for the brothers and sisters, but that's nothing compared to the pain of the parents. It's the kind of pain that tears apart a marriage, that wounds relationships, and leaves an empty look in a parent's eyes, like a part of their heart is missing.

God, being God, knows everything. God knew beforehand what he was doing when he asked Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus knew what was coming (torture, pain, death, separation from God). We know this because of what he prayed in the garden the night he was arrested.

 ³⁹Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?"  (Matthew 26:39, The Message)

and

 ⁴²He then left them a second time. Again he prayed, "My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I'm ready. Do it your way."  (Matthew 26:42, The Message)

 Note: In this context, the cup is full of God's wrath about our sin, it's what must be consumed in order for us to have a relationship with God.

Even knowing what was coming, Jesus went forward with the plan. God's pain was doubled, not only would Jesus die, not only would God not intervene to stop it, God himself would be the one to kill his own son. A few minutes later a crowd of people showed up in the Garden to arrest Jesus. Peter tried to defend his master, drawing his sword, and managing to sever the ear of the high priests's servant. Jesus response:

 ^52-54Jesus said, "Put your sword back where it belongs. All who use swords are destroyed by swords. Don't you realize that I am able right now to call to my Father, and twelve companies—more, if I want them—of fighting angels would be here, battle-ready? But if I did that, how would the Scriptures come true that say this is the way it has to be?"  (Matthew 26:52-54, The Message)

Note: Company here is translated Legion elsewhere. A legion at the time was 5,120 soldiers. 12 Legions=61,440 Angels (we'll round it off to 60,000)

Can't you just picture it? God has assembled the armies of Heaven, ready to send in to the rescue, Angelic special forces commandos, ready to shock & awe the crowd. Ready to extract Jesus and slaughter everyone who deserves it.

You and I deserve it. God knew that. Jesus knew that, and so, rather than call on 60,000 angels, rather than summon the army standing at the ready, He told Peter to put away his sword. He healed the high priest's servant, and went quietly with the mob.

Now we come back to our central point, Jesus says there is no way to the Father except through Him. Jesus gave his life for us. The Father killed his own son in our place, had there been some other way, we can be confident that these things would have been unnecessary, that Jesus would have prayed in the garden, "But Father, couldn't we just direct them to [alternate path here]." If Jesus is the only way to heaven, his sacrifice is noble, a great gift from a loving God to an undeserving people. If Jesus is not the only way, his sacrifice is the cruel act of a brutal God.

Jesus is the only way to God. No other explanation makes sense.

 

More Budgetary Shenanigans

Now, another year, I had some money left over in the budget, and I decided that what we ought to get was a new tractor for the yard. See, we had all these cars to move around, and we really needed a tractor with air brakes.

The Company had this department, that handled moving equipment around, so if you needed something, instead of buying it from outside the company, first you checked if they had an extra one somewhere else. Now this guy I called, he really wanted to get rid of this tractor, but it wasn't what we wanted. He told me that if I didn't take it, then he'd make sure that I never got the right thing. Well, I figured that it was better not to let him push me around, and frankly, whether I took it or not, it was the wrong kind of tractor, and it wouldn't work for what we needed, so I told him that we weren't going to take it. Well, that made him real mad.

This fool threatened to call the plant manager, and I told him to just go ahead and call. The plant manager called me a little while later, and asked me what was going on, I explained that the guy was trying to push something on us that we didn't want, and that he was being a real jackass to boot. So, I ended up winning, we got the right kind of tractor, one with the power and brakes that we needed, and that guy got chewed out by his boss. Turns out that he was trying to make his end of the year quota, and just wanted to move whatever he could, he didn't care a whit about what people really needed.

Taking care of your employees

Well, I went to work at [redacted], and I worked there for upwards of 30 years, I like the job too. I handled the shipping department, and eventually, I got promoted to be the Warehouse manager. I liked having guys work for me, and I liked taking care of the people under me. So, this one winter, there was a surplus in the budget, and I knew that I had to spend it down.

"Why did you have to spend it? why not save?" I asked.

Well, see, if you don't spend your whole budget, then the company thinks that they gave you too much money, then what happens is that next year, when you might need that money, they don't give it to you. So you have to spend your entire budget. So, I talked to the guys in the warehouse. We didn't have enough to get any kind of equipment, just a few bucks were left in the account, so I talked to them, and I took that money, and I bought them all work coats and work gloves. Nice warm, tough, work clothes. That way, all of them, all winter, were nice an warm. They loved it.

See, whenever you can, it's important to take good care of your employees, you want them to know that you understand that they have a hard job, and that you'll make it easier if you can. That, and also, there's the fact that they appreciate that you recognize them. That helps them to put in a harder days work, which makes everybody happy. You ought to remember that, that you want to take good care of the people under you.